The possibilities

Life is full of unexpected surprises, you get to know many different type of people . Yet to meet in reality and meet in reality or in chatroom .
Prior to your meet up, you both had pleasant conversation , bit make the effort and time to meet up; after meet up, the friendship dying off or continuous spark on.
A friend of mine, a Singaporean DC who based in Dubai , we knew each other from an app, he make it to a point flew in to KL for a catch up, we had a pleasant night , after that the conversation seems dying off.
Another friend LYM based in SG, he boarded the plane in last minute decision just wanted to give me  a surprise and meet me for few hours before heading back to SG for meeting. Such little thought and gesture were touched my heart , but it's too soon to tell if a fiend who always busy with work and not responding in time as in persistency and consistency , I doubt he could make it to the end of the relationship.
Either friendship nor relationship , you require both parties time and effort to sustain it.
As if you are not the priority and just an optional, pointless you keep up the efforts.
Some friendships just effortless and always be there.
Be real, he just not into you.
Another 3 SG friends will make it to an extend , inform me in advance he will be coming to kl for meeting or business trip or leisure , to pre-book my schedule for meet up, really appreciate it.
As such, you realised that the differences of treatment and priority.
Be it , if a person would like to stay in your life, they will be.

Depression

“Many people who suffer from depression report feeling as though they’ve lost the ability to imagine a happy future, or remember a happy past. Often they don’t realize they’re suffering from a treatable illness, and seeking help may not even enter their mind. Emotions and even physical pain can become unbearable. They don’t want to die, but it’s the only way they feel their pain will end.”

Life is full of choices

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.

 

 

 

 

 John Hodge

Men are like...???

1.  Men are like ..... Laxatives ... They irritate the shit out of you.
2.  Men are like ..... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.  Men are like ..... Weather .. Nothing can be done to change them.
4.  Men are like ..... Blenders .. You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5.  Men are like ..... Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6.  Men are like ..... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.
7.  Men are like ..... Department Stores .. Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8.  Men are like ..... Government Bonds .. They take soooooooo long to mature.
9.  Men are like ..... Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ..... Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ..... Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll
                            get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ..... Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ..... Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

To all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good- natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!

Changes for good?

from 2010 to 2011, did i ever change from bad to good, good to great? i doubt. after being a few of relationships which doesn't work out, end up with betrayed feeling and broken heart, i fear to fall in love again. Being single for 5 years over, sometimes i feel good to have all the times and freedom for myself, albeit it's quite sad to see not with anyone (occasionally), but i feel bliss and grateful i still have my beloved parents and buddies who being so supportive by my side along my life path. Sometimes being single is better and happy instead with a wrong person, however i don't mind to reconsider to be with someone who worth for me to spend times together and change my mind to settle down, till now i still yet meet someone right for me. Believe the right person will come soon? It's called FLIRTING if you're in a relationship. But, it's called BEING FRIENDLY if you're SINGLE. Look back 2010, i got my 2 teeth crown done, my deepest gratitude to my parents who helped me for this and keep urged me to get it done before too late. I am happy with the new look and nice teeth. Being windows user for more than 20 years, finally i decided to make a change, i bought a macbook from Apple authorized store, extremely excited for my new toy onboard ! dare to make a change! i truly in love with my macbook white! After years, i finally bought my own roof with great help from my parents. Without papa and mama, i am nobody! I used 1 month to search for units and viewing houses,apartment and condo, spent 3 months over to get legal documents signed, sealed and delivered. I can't wait to move in to my apartment by year end! wish me abundance of good luck! I took up life insurance classes and sat for the test, finally got the license done! Going through the training, facing challenges to accept objections from friends and strangers, needs loads of courage to develop myself, to change my attitude, my personality, polish up skills to do better!! TRUST myself can DO IT! please grant me strength, luck and positive energy!! I want to be a successful person in life, to make myself a better person, be happy, be kind, be healthy, be wealthy!! DARE TO MAKE A CHANGE IN LIFE! WELCOME MANY OPPORTUNITIES COME TO MY LIFE!

Be my guest!

YL: Hi there! I saw your msg in facebook. I was just kidding with you. you no need to be so serious right?I try to praise you in another way. Haiz, nevermind, just wanna let you know i never have the intention to criticize you.

JC: Yeah, it aint funny at all! be my guest, please fuck off!

"YL: Joann, I think someone have to ban you from using FB, coz you make all of us hungry!"

Mind you, I am a blunt and sensitive person. If you do not know me, you may think i am a person who hard to approach, harsh and mean. Somehow, i do have my soft spot and being selective to my circle of friends. It depends who i am dealing with and the situation, i needless to be there to please everyone but i do have my own verdict and point of view, i never ask you to agree and accept it, i just share piece of my mind. I being nice to you it doesn't mean i like you, but when you mess with me, sorry to tell you that please fuck off! I do not have time to entertain you if you are an obnoxious person and always being busy body want to know my personal life. Please mind your own business!

Last month, YL who's my ex colleague who always think of herself is a princess and she loves to gossip and dig others personal life stories. I hardly talk to her, she msg me in MSN, i just being polite to reply her. She told me please get a life and get a man to take care of me, excuse me, i know you just married and gave birth to a baby girl, it doesn't you need to brat about our new weds life and motherhood to me. I rules my own life and i am totally in-charge of what i've done , what i am going to do and bear all the consequences. Please do not come here seems you know me for whole life and give me a lecture how to live my life to fullest. Perhaps i do need a man to enhance my life as a compliment material. But, Hey! i still yet to meet any Mr. Right, it doesn't mean i don't wish to settle down with someone. I am happy who i am right now even i am not a fucking rich person.

Today you just being irritating bitch and hit my nerve to the maximum. Pardon me, if you do not love to view my photos posted up in FB, please do me a favor, you do reserves your right not to view my photos and should i ban you from viewing any photos from my albums? Yes! Be my guest! Good news to you, i've barred your account and email address in my FB, so save your energy and my time to battle with you.
"YL: Joann, I think someone have to ban you from using FB, coz you make all of us hungry!"

Oh yes! you came to MSN left me a nice message. Yes, i am a sensitive person, i do take things seriously, but only to you! BITCH!

Tough Decision

After a long week pondering, a long deep thought, finally i manage to decide my next destination.
Tough decision has been made, fingers typing on keyboard for my resignation letter in this morning, a deep breath ... folded it nicely and slot it into the envelope.

After 7 hours, waited the right timing to knock boss's door and step in to have a talk.
I gave him my envelope, he asked me what's that? then slowly opened it up and read, i bet he's bit surprised that i eagerly want to leave that soon, 3 weeks ago i told him that i am looking for new job and i put him as my reference. He doesn't expected i will leave so fast. After 4 others tendered the resignation, next is me!
I was so 'weak' and sad to spread the news to him that i am going to leave this place soon. I knew i am a sensible and sensitive person who easily shed my tear. I was bit upset that finally ..yes..finally i can step out here after 6 years service over here. A place with uncountable memories full of excited, struggling, happiness, sorrow, laugh and etc. A place i spent many hours in a day with many people, a place that i could abuse my power to enjoy the delicious food and unlimit supply of coffee. Till i get so bored of it and there's no space for me to breath and move on for my career advancement. I guess that's the time for me to make a move for my own good on my career path.
I shed my tear out which beyond my control in front of my boss who been working together with me for past 6 years. He's my 6th boss throughout my working days in this place.
Honestly, I am going to miss this place for long and miss everyone here for sure!
I've put my full courage to tender my letter and decided foregoing my year end bonus. What a sacrifices? Am i making a right or wrong decision? Times will prove it to me!
Yes, i am sick and tired of this place, at times...i need to quit and go.. but when the moment upon to bid farewell, the feeling just like the 'mixing pot' , can't tell how the taste like...the feeling is hardly to descript..
Wish me good luck!

Panic

Saturday i was enjoying my beauty sleep at home, my mobile rang me up, i was in blur mode, picked up the call, it was Elaine, coz she sms me earlier but no response from me, thus buzz me up. She reminded me go to Zoul together gather, after MV.

I still took my own sweet time rolling on my bed, after all just decided get my arse off from my sweet bed, wanna take my shower. Walked into my washroom, turn on the water tape, FUCK! no water?!!! oh no!! morning when i got up went to washroom i remembered i washed my hand, how come afternoon no water supply when i want to take my shower? Must be kidding me!! and i need to rush for my appointment tho..... I've paid my bill, why no water supply? *panic* @#$@#%@#$#!!!

I called up my friend who stayed nearby, gosh! she still at her office, away from her apartment, i can't go to her place for shower. Thus, i've no choice need to get out to buy mineral water for shower. When i passed by security booth, suddenly rang a bell, i went up approached the security uncle, i told him my problem. He was so nice, he went up to my unit checked the water supply, found out someone turn off my water supply. Who's the mother fucker play with me huh? carry your gun stand up here! Thanks god this security uncle safe my day!

Yohoo!

yayy! i've a few days leave during national day!
In total, i've 5 days , such a long weekend for me, and i've applied 2 more days annual leave. Gonna rush back to hometown visit papa & mama and pick up some important documents and rush back to KL again. Sigh...!! Tomorow is merdeka day, will be stuck at home do house chores for some housekeeping and clearing stuff. Then Saturday gang outing , a birthday celebration and gathering for friends. The person i miss , he won't able to come due to busy working schedule, i swear to god that such his lame excuse. Work till no need to take dinner? i bet everyone do need food to survive tho... anyway, it doesn't matter, it been 3 months long we never see each other and no contact. The time is approaching to bid farewell with him, i hate to say goodbye, i guess i won't have the chance to say bye , good luck, take good care and i miss ya these phrases to him. Anyway, i still look up to faith till one day we will meet again someday...somewhere out there. I still carry hope, albeit it's bit far distance, no one know what's going to happen in the future, look forward to it.
Wish me good luck for my job hunting! I really need a big huge LUCK! finger cross and pray for me! GOD please answer my prayer! Thanks!

Ponder....

Roslyn, 1 friend of mine comfy me...
" who knows if he would change his mind if you manage to sort things out? but i doubt you would want to tell him this coz you want what's the behst for him right?"

I would not stop him to leave, to chase his dream and build his kingdom tho... and now i rather don't want to know the outcome and the reason behind why he behave and react like that way tho.. coz it doesn't serve the purpose coz the timing already overed.

Secondly, Rosyln mentioned again. "Then let the man decide. If you guys are meant to be together, no one can change that". Sounds reasonable and trustworthy? i ponder...i doubt. I don't think thing will work out anymore, coz i just burnt the bridge away.

I don't know how to face him when we meet again and the friendship will not be the same, i don't know how to patch it back again and it's not menable. We won't be closed as before, we might stay a distance away from each other, stop contact each other, give some spaces and fresh air to chill down. Just wipe everything off from memory, can i?

WY, another friend of mine told me that, " No, you didn't get the wrong message because he was hurt, that's why he threw the ball back at you. How you feel now is how he feels."
I've a big doubt, the pain i felt he might not know. The fear in me, he won't know. My past still keep hauting me non stop to reject all.

Zareen who is a sweet gem, she comfy me that: " you wish him the best, he wants a better life, so you show support. He will come home and you can visit, try not to be sad."
But i can tell you, it won't gonna to be happened tho...

I'm telling myself, LET GO for all, not worth it!

OMFG!

Oh my God! it's my 2nd time HIT 500 over counts , i've got 500 over people viewed my Friendter's profile! hahahaha....

Am I Lucky?

Last night gals night out till 11.15pm at KL town, took LRT back to Kelana Jaya then i've drove back to home.
On the music to high volume drove fast back home, coz bit sleepy and fatigue...my make up all faded out and sweat around.
Reached the apartment, used the access card then drove my car in. Then open car's door quickly and got out back to my little home sweet home and busy replied sms to James in Mauritious who is little bit down whereby i bit concerned about him. He always be there for me as my buddy eventhough he is so far, when i was sad he is the first one who call me to comfy me.
After shower i dozed off...hit my sack after sms session..
This morning i got up rushed to work, i started my baby engine, i saw a black leather wallet sticked on my wind screen wiper, what's that? looks familiar! Oh shit! i went to pick it up, it was my access card, without it i can't go out from security point. Phew! i was clumsy n careless last night, rushing back home didnt realise i dropped it on floor, someone so kind hearted pick it up and return it back to me and put it back on my car windshield. Thanks god!! Thanks alot to this kind person (god know who are you to do this good deed to me)!! I am really in the blessing man....I'm so lucky to get it back!!